Thursday, October 30, 2008

Just Say No: How Not to Take On Too Much


You can only fit so much through that door!

“The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” - Theodore Roosevelt

People are always going to ask you to do things for them. That’s life. Often we are asked to make commitments we don’t feel comfortable with, don’t have time for, or just plain don’t want to make- but saying “no” makes us feel even worse than agreeing to something we don’t like.

Women especially fall victim to the over-commitment syndrome. You should make it a habit to say “no” more often, particularly when you know that agreeing to take on a certain commitment is going to wreak havoc with your life, even though the little voice in your head is telling you accepting would be the “nice” thing to do. When it comes to your sanity, the nicest thing is to make sure you don’t over-extend yourself and end up performing a large number of tasks with substandard results.

The first step in learning to say no is deciding which things you should agree to commit to, and which things are all right to pass on. This decision should stem from your personal priorities; the things that are important to you and your life. This is one reason why it’s important to define your goals clearly when you begin using the power of positive thinking. Weigh each request against your goals and decide whether agreeing to them would move you closer or further away from your objectives.

When you come to a point where you must refuse a request, there are several ways to say no without hurting feelings or making yourself appear inconsiderate. Be as honest as possible when saying no, and you will be able to proceed with a guilt-free conscience.

Need an excuse? Here are the top ten ways to say no nicely:

1. “No.” Sometimes, the best way to refuse is politely, but directly. If someone in your life is constantly asking you to do things they could easily handle themselves, a firm “no” is the only way to get them to stop. Another approach to problematic people with frequent requests is to tell them, “I know you’ll do a great job handling it on your own.”

2. “I’m in the middle of several other projects/commitments right now.” Don’t be afraid to tell people when you’re busy. Most will respect your schedule and find another way to fulfill their requests for help. You shouldn’t be expected to drop tasks you’ve already committed to in order to complete new ones.

3. “I need to focus on [my career, my family, my personal life] at the moment.” If you’re going through a difficult time in another area of your life that requires your attention, don’t hesitate to refuse taking on extra requests. You don’t necessarily have to explain your specific reasoning for taking a pass; just indicate that you

4. “I don’t feel I’m the best person to handle that task.” When you don’t feel qualified to handle something requested of you, say so. Explain that you don’t want to do a poor job, because you know this task is important to the person asking you to do it. Chances are, they want the task done well, too.

5. “I can’t do it, but I know someone else who can.” Only use this “no” form if you truly know someone who can not only handle the task, but has the time to do it. It’s nice to be able to offer alternative help, but only if you can follow through on your offer. Referring people to someone else who won’t be able to help either will be viewed as a brush-off; the person who originally came to you will think you never actually wanted to help them in the first place.

6. “I’m not comfortable/don’t enjoy doing that.” Stick to your guns. If you’re asked to do something that seems wrong or a task you despise doing, don’t agree to it and explain why. This way you will be able to avoid repeat requests for the same thing.

7. “I can’t help right now, but ask me later.” Again, be honest with this statement. If you really do want to help out, but just don’t have the time when the request is made, let the person asking you know that you’d be happy to help out when you can. If possible, give them a specific availability, like tomorrow or next week, when you know you’ll be free. If they need the task done before then, they will find someone else.

8. “I have no experience with this type of task.” This is similar to stating you’re not the best person for the job, but more significant- at least for you. When you take on a task for someone else, you shouldn’t have to learn a whole new skill set just to complete one thing. However, if it’s something you were planning to learn anyway, you might want to take advantage of the opportunity to learn something new.

9. “I know you want to [other person’s objective] but I can’t get away from [other commitment] right now.” This is a polite way to acknowledge the needs of the other person while refusing to overburden yourself. This can also open the opportunity to handle the root issue of the request in a way that is convenient for both of you.

10. “No, but...” If for whatever reason you can’t commit to a request, you can offer an alternative that would be beneficial to the situation. Perhaps you’re unable to perform the specific task requested, but there is another aspect of the project you would be able to help out with. Again, this leaves your options open without making you seem callous or unconcerned with whomever is making a request of you.

Practice saying no both at home and at work, whenever you’re asked to take on more than you know you can handle. Overextending yourself can be a hard habit to break, but it is an essential step in getting out of your own way so you can accomplish your life’s goals. You deserve time for yourself, and you must be responsible for ensuring your personal needs are met.

How to Take Immediate Control of your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny!

• As your NLP Coach, I’ll help you discover what’s really most important to you in your life.
• Then I’ll help you design a plan to achieve those things.
• I’ll work with you to eliminate any obstacles or blocks that stand in your way.
• I’ll partner with you all the way to success.
• Then I’ll celebrate with you!


• Also you can Learn Advanced Communications Skills to Influence others with Integrity and Ease.
• Learn the Structure of Rapport and How to create it in Seconds.
• Read Body Language and Voice, Understanding what is going on Beneath the Surface.
• Rearrange Your Own Reality to Create Profound Growth in yourself personally and in your business.
• Develop new unconscious habits that are consistent with the goals you want to achieve, and give you some tools you can use to immediately increase your sales.

Increase Self Esteem, Overcome Depression, Relationship Advice, NLP Coaching, and Life Coaching

Copyright 2008 Mark J Holland.
All Rights reserved.
http://www.markholland.com.au/
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Thursday, October 23, 2008

There’s Always Tomorrow: Eradicate Procrastination


To be always intending to make a new and better life but never find time to set about it is as... to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you’re dead.”
- Og Mandino

Procrastination is the easiest thing in the world to perfect- and one of the hardest habits to break. There will always be a good reason to put off whatever you want to accomplish, whether it’s vacuuming the lounge room carpet or finally taking that Tropical Holiday you’ve been planning for years.

When you realize you’re putting something off, one of the best things you can do is to ask yourself why you don’t want to do it. The reasons for procrastination are as varied as the people who practice it: the task is boring or repetitive; you are afraid you won’t be able to handle it; the project is difficult or time-consuming; it is going to be an unpleasant experience; you dread the possible consequences of seeing the task through to completion. Once you know what is stopping you from moving ahead, you can determine your strategy for accomplishing your goal and get un-stuck.

How do you crush procrastination in its tracks? The remedies for moving past procrastination include:
• Just do it. Whatever the task you’re facing, simply pick a point and get started. Often things are not as bad as they seem, and once you start doing something it’s easier to build up momentum that will carry you through to the end. Tell yourself that when you finish the unpleasant task, you won’t have it hanging over your head and you can move on to better things.
• Break it up, people. Take a few minutes to break up larger tasks into small, manageable goals. For example, if you are attempting to organize your desk at work, you might pick one drawer and get that done, and then take a break and do something else before returning for the next drawer. Meeting a series of small goals is more motivating and encouraging than trying to tackle a huge project all at once.
• Cut through the fluff. Prepare yourself to work through distractions when you’re taking on a task. If possible, ignore the phone- and definitely resist the temptation to play Solitaire or check your e-mail a dozen times. Make sure your mind is made up to do whatever it is you’re doing and nothing else until it’s finished. You will feel better knowing it’s done, and you’ll waste less time on sideline projects.
• Stick to the program. Ensure you have enough time to finish the task you’re starting. If you know you’re going to be interrupted or run out of time before you’re through, choose one part of the task to complete instead of trying to rush through the whole thing. Rushing to meet a deadline you know you can’t make causes more stress, and can actually make things happen slower because you’re worried that you won’t be able to accomplish what you’ve set out to do. Give yourself a break, and your stress level will thank you.
• Expect the unexpected. Despite our best positive thinking efforts, things do occasionally take a turn for the unexpected. Delays are a given in many situations. When you’re planning a task or goal, it is important to factor in time in case things go wrong. Delays are a major facilitator of procrastination: it’s easy to convince yourself to put things off when you already have to wait. Make sure you have a backup plan in place so you can avoid putting things off and still meet your completion goals comfortably.

Learn Advanced Communications Skills to Influence others with Integrity and Ease. Imagine learning the Structure of Rapport and How to create it in Seconds. Read Body Language and Voice, Understanding what is going on Beneath the Surface. Rearrange Your Own Reality to Create Profound Growth in yourself personally and in your business. Develop new unconscious habits that are consistent with the goals you want to achieve, and give you some tools you can use to immediately increase your sales.

Increase Self Esteem, Overcome Depression, Relationship Advice, NLP Coaching, NLP Life Consulting and Advanced Sales Training - Personal Development using breakthrough NLP Coaching Strategies


Copyright 2008 Mark J Holland.
All Rights reserved.
http://www.markholland.com.au/
=======================================================

Monday, October 6, 2008

Conspiracy Theory: The Biggest Threat to the New You

“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.”
- Louis Nizer

Every path has its obstacles. Along the road to positive thinking, you will find only one: yourself. Human beings have a tendency to create conspiracies against themselves and impose the self-limiting beliefs that surround them on every aspect of their lives, whether these restrictive ideals result from decisions, memories, attitudes, beliefs, environment, upbringing, or a combination of influential factors.

You may not even recognize your own self-defeating actions. However, the power to access the benefits of positive thinking rests solely within yourself- and you are the only one that can stand in your way. Therefore, you must learn how to step aside and allow yourself to develop to your full potential.

Learn Advanced Communications Skills to Influence others with Integrity and Ease. You will also learn the Structure of Rapport and How to create it in Seconds. Read Body Language and Voice, Understanding what is going on Beneath the Surface. Rearrange Your Own Reality to Create Profound Growth in yourself personally and in your business. Develop new unconscious habits that are consistent with the goals you want to achieve, and give you some tools you can use to immediately increase your sales.

Increase Self Esteem, Overcome Depression, Relationship Advice, NLP Coaching, NLP Life Consulting and Advanced Sales TrainingNLP Coaching, NLP Business Consulting and Advanced Sales Training


Copyright 2008 Mark J Holland.
All Rights reserved.
http://www.markholland.com.au/
=======================================================

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