I have always been put off by the idea of having a “job”. The word itself has negative connotations; it’s something you have to do and you don’t want to do. Most people can’t stand the thought of Monday morning and can’t wait until Friday, when all that “work” is over for a couple of days. I always thought it was better to be poor and doing what I loved than wealthy and doing something I hated.
So many of us find ourselves stuck doing a job we don’t like because we have to pay the bills. We have grown accustomed to the steady paycheck and frankly we feel comfortable with the routine and security. Even though we want to pursue a dream, we don’t want to step out of our comfort zone. Comfort and routine have taken the place of self-actualization.
All of us have dreams but many of us don’t have the courage to pursue them. We have been told since childhood “that’s impossible” and we decided to believe it. We don’t want to take risks or make sacrifices, and our fear of failure keeps us stuck where we are. We feel we aren’t able or that we don’t deserve it or we feel guilty about going our own way or having more success than our friends, family members or parents. Instead of believing in our dreams, somehow we have come to have more faith and conviction in the belief that our dreams are impossible.
Some of us put our dreams on hold out of responsibility to our family. We want to provide our loved ones with security and avoid taking risks, even though they would support us in pursuing our vision if we expressed it to them. If it’s not about family, we justify the status quo with the belief that “my company and my colleagues need me. What would they do without me?” So we put responsibility to others before our dreams, even though the contribution we could make if we live our passion would be much greater than the value we add when we do something we hate because we feel we have to.When we do a job because we feel we have to, life loses meaning. We find ourselves depressed and disillusioned, and rightly so. The emotions are a signal letting us know that our circumstances do not match our values and aspirations.
Oscar Wilde said “the supreme object of life is to live. Few people live. It is true life only to realize one’s own perfection, to make one’s every dream a reality.” Dreams make life worth living. They give meaning to existence and guide us to unleashing our full potential. Which leaves one question: are you really living?
I believe we all have something unique and something of value to offer to the world. We all have unique talents or interests, and we all have something we are passionate about… but we don’t believe we could make into a living. The happiest, most fulfilled and most successful people in the world have taken their passion and turned it into a livelihood. Some believe we each have a calling, but I believe we each have the power to choose our calling.
When we turn our passion into something that adds value to others’ lives and something people are willing to pay for, life becomes what Deepak Chopra calls the “continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals.” They say that money buys happiness… but really, happiness buys money.
One of my favourite examples of someone pursuing a dream is the story of Debbie Macomber. Debbie wanted to be a writer. For 2 ½ years she typed in her kitchen each morning after the kids went to school. One day her husband Wayne decided it could go on no longer, telling her they could not survive any longer on his income alone. Distraught she remained awake all night. When her husband asked her what was wrong she told him she was convinced she could make it as a writer.
After a long silence, he told her “All right honey, go for it.” For another 2 ½ years her family struggled financially. And it paid off. Now Debbie has written over 100 books, some have been New York Times best-sellers and 3 have sold for movies. There are over sixty million copies of her books in print. Needless to say, after years of penny pinching, the family is quite comfortable now (no need to mention their 7000 square-foot mansion).
So are you doing what you love? What is your vision? How many reasons do you have for why you cannot pursue it?
Self-actualizers pursue their passions. They take something they absolutely love to do and they find a way to use it to add value to other’s lives. They love what they do so much that they can’t believe people pay them to do it. And they thrive. It’s not about working toward some destination, but doing what they love and enjoying the journey.
Most people don’t think big enough. Instead of being driven by possibility, we are held back by our own limitations and limited perceptions.
What is your “impossible” dream?
I'd love to read your comments below…
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
No More Positive Thinking!
All too often , in an effort to help out in the face of challenges, our friends, family members and colleagues tell us to “Think positive,” a piece of advice that we hear with disdain as we consider how unhelpful this suggestion is. If things are not positive why think positively? we ask ourselves. It sounds like another way to lie to yourself.
The term “positive thinking” is thrown around a lot these days by professionals in the growing personal development industry who toot its benefits, and by more traditional psychologists who are not quite so optimistic about it.
When doing individual coaching for depression, anxiety and self-esteem, I avoid the term. Instead, I help my clients learn to do something that is much better than just think positively.
What exactly does the term “positive thinking” mean? If you stop to consider it for a moment, the term “positive thinking” is extremely general and has little inherent meaning. My interpretation of it will be different from yours and if we ask twenty other people, we will get twenty different responses. How can the advice “think positive” be of any help when we don’t know what specifically it means?
When told to think positively, many argue that it is better to be realistic. Yet there are problems with this too. We each have our own unique model of the world, our own individual perception of what is real and what is possible, and often we adopted a certain way of thinking at a young age that stays with us into our later years. At some time in the past, usually when very young, when we had less experience and less wisdom, we formed certain beliefs or adopted them from others. Our most deeply held beliefs and perceptions often come out of significant emotional events, difficult or even traumatic events from which we made generalizations (decisions actually) about the way the world works. Due to this, thinking realistically often means sticking to an outdated way of thinking and it turns into thinking pessimistically.
I suggest we forget positive thinking (and “realistic” thinking too). What we need to do is rethink our thinking and think in the most useful and empowering way. We need to update our internal programming, let go of the limiting decisions we have made in the past and adopt beliefs that serve us. To think in the most useful way, we need to take responsibility for the decisions we make and the meaning we give to things.
Limiting beliefs about identity and capability are extremely prevalent in our society. A belief is essentially a command to the nervous system. If I believe that people don’t like me, for example, I will act in accordance with this belief and find evidence in my reality that people indeed do not like me. When you believe it, you see it. It is the notorious self-fulfilling prophecy. What about when it comes to our capabilities? If you believe you can’t, you will not even try. If you think you can’t, you certainly won’t. I could cite numerous examples, but how about this one: Bill gates would never have been able to create the worldwide software giant if he woke up every morning and said, “This will never work!”
A great example of beliefs at work is in the area of health. A person who accepts a doctor’s terminal diagnosis gives up and fails to take action that could increase their chances of survival. Yet a patient who believes they can overcome a fatal condition will act in accordance with that belief, doing whatever they can to get well.
When we face challenges, we make decisions as to what they mean. “I failed, and that means I will never be successful” is one such example. Yet a “failure” could be interpreted in an infinity of different ways. Failure can be an opportunity to learn something new and make an important distinction that will lead to success, and even more success than ever imagined. A perfect example of this is Lance Armstrong. Despite enormous challenges, Lance Armstrong became a cycling legend. He took the obstacles he faced and gave them an empowering meaning. He claims that cancer actually helped him win the Tour de France! What meaning are you choosing to give to things?
To become empowered, ask yourself, “How do I need to think to accomplish my aims and to feel the way I want?” If you do this, your thoughts (some 60 000 a day!) will be your allies instead of your enemies.
When you want to help someone out in times of trouble, instead of telling them to think positively, help them with specific advice about how to think. You might want to trying asking questions that direct thinking such as, “How will things change if you focus on the solution?” or when the problem is a belief, something like “What if you (decide to) believe you can?”
What old beliefs will you leave behind today and to replace with new ones that will lead you to more happiness and success than you ever thought possible?
I'd love to read your comments below…
David Kynan
The term “positive thinking” is thrown around a lot these days by professionals in the growing personal development industry who toot its benefits, and by more traditional psychologists who are not quite so optimistic about it.
When doing individual coaching for depression, anxiety and self-esteem, I avoid the term. Instead, I help my clients learn to do something that is much better than just think positively.
What exactly does the term “positive thinking” mean? If you stop to consider it for a moment, the term “positive thinking” is extremely general and has little inherent meaning. My interpretation of it will be different from yours and if we ask twenty other people, we will get twenty different responses. How can the advice “think positive” be of any help when we don’t know what specifically it means?
When told to think positively, many argue that it is better to be realistic. Yet there are problems with this too. We each have our own unique model of the world, our own individual perception of what is real and what is possible, and often we adopted a certain way of thinking at a young age that stays with us into our later years. At some time in the past, usually when very young, when we had less experience and less wisdom, we formed certain beliefs or adopted them from others. Our most deeply held beliefs and perceptions often come out of significant emotional events, difficult or even traumatic events from which we made generalizations (decisions actually) about the way the world works. Due to this, thinking realistically often means sticking to an outdated way of thinking and it turns into thinking pessimistically.
I suggest we forget positive thinking (and “realistic” thinking too). What we need to do is rethink our thinking and think in the most useful and empowering way. We need to update our internal programming, let go of the limiting decisions we have made in the past and adopt beliefs that serve us. To think in the most useful way, we need to take responsibility for the decisions we make and the meaning we give to things.
Limiting beliefs about identity and capability are extremely prevalent in our society. A belief is essentially a command to the nervous system. If I believe that people don’t like me, for example, I will act in accordance with this belief and find evidence in my reality that people indeed do not like me. When you believe it, you see it. It is the notorious self-fulfilling prophecy. What about when it comes to our capabilities? If you believe you can’t, you will not even try. If you think you can’t, you certainly won’t. I could cite numerous examples, but how about this one: Bill gates would never have been able to create the worldwide software giant if he woke up every morning and said, “This will never work!”
A great example of beliefs at work is in the area of health. A person who accepts a doctor’s terminal diagnosis gives up and fails to take action that could increase their chances of survival. Yet a patient who believes they can overcome a fatal condition will act in accordance with that belief, doing whatever they can to get well.
When we face challenges, we make decisions as to what they mean. “I failed, and that means I will never be successful” is one such example. Yet a “failure” could be interpreted in an infinity of different ways. Failure can be an opportunity to learn something new and make an important distinction that will lead to success, and even more success than ever imagined. A perfect example of this is Lance Armstrong. Despite enormous challenges, Lance Armstrong became a cycling legend. He took the obstacles he faced and gave them an empowering meaning. He claims that cancer actually helped him win the Tour de France! What meaning are you choosing to give to things?
To become empowered, ask yourself, “How do I need to think to accomplish my aims and to feel the way I want?” If you do this, your thoughts (some 60 000 a day!) will be your allies instead of your enemies.
When you want to help someone out in times of trouble, instead of telling them to think positively, help them with specific advice about how to think. You might want to trying asking questions that direct thinking such as, “How will things change if you focus on the solution?” or when the problem is a belief, something like “What if you (decide to) believe you can?”
What old beliefs will you leave behind today and to replace with new ones that will lead you to more happiness and success than you ever thought possible?
I'd love to read your comments below…
David Kynan
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
How the mind works: Understanding Your Mental Software
When we hear the term “mind” we often think of the brain, but the mind is much more than the brain. The brain is the hardware while the mind is the software it runs. When you are dead, your brain will still be there (for a while), but your mind will not.
So just what is the mind? If we are going to get any use out of the mind, we need a definition that is useful. Although the word “mind” leads us to believe the mind is a thing, it is not. The mind is label we have given to an active and dynamic process of thinking, perceiving and experiencing. The term “mind” refers to a never-ending flow of information processing. The mind is never static. It is a constant stream of sensory input, thoughts, ideas and perceptions. It’s a continuous dance of information, a ceaseless stream of awareness in which almost anything can be swept up.
What exactly goes on in this stream of awareness? From moment to moment you receive vast amounts of information from the outside world through your senses. Your awareness jumps from point to point in your external experience, sorting for what is important to you as your minds engages in the process of interpreting and evaluating the incoming data. External information is filtered through beliefs, attitudes and memories and associations are activated. Emotions arise and generate responses; speech, actions and behaviour.
On the screen of your mind you flash images, snapshots and run movies. You hear sounds and voices and often narrate the film with your own voice. The pictures and sounds of your mind occur all in sequence, one after the other, which results in an ever changing flux of experience which changes from moment to moment.
Directing and guiding this stream of awareness is a system. We can think of the mind as system that directs our information processing. This system is made up of numerous elements, all interacting and influencing one another to generate our experience. The way we experience the world is through the process of representing, sequencing and ordering the information we acquire from the outside world.
The system of information processing we call “the mind” can also be called our internal reality. We each have an external reality- the environment we live in, the circumstances of our lives – and we each have our own unique internal reality. It is this internal reality that lies behind emotions, behaviour and results.
Our inner reality is far from a random mess of mental chaos. Human subjective experience has a structure. Knowing the specific elements that make up the structure of our internal reality enables us to alter the structure so that it serves us better.
For thousands of years we have believed that the mind was complicated and elusive; a mystery waiting to be unravelled, a cipher waiting to be cracked. We now know that the mind is much simpler than we once thought. When we know the building blocks of human subjective experience, the elements that make up what we call “mind,” we can change them.
The components of a system can be reorganized. The processes we use to encode information and the sequence data can be optimized to produce desired results. When we know the elements of a system we can change the system so it functions more effectively and efficiently. When we know what is going on behind the scenes of behaviour and emotion, we can change it and transform our experience.
For hundreds of years the field of psychology tried to find a way to change emotions and behaviour. The methods devised made great theories, but never really resulted in much change. Some of the theories made a lot of sense, but practice didn’t seem to yield any results. The advocates of different psychological theories over the past hundred years spent more time arguing over theories than trying to find something that really worked. It took up until the late 1970s before a model that was actually useful and practical was devised.
Throughout our lives we have fought with our emotions and struggled to change habits and behaviours with little or no success. We have been attempting to change the symptom of some cause without getting to the source. Trying to change with willpower alone is like trying to weed a garden without getting at the roots and wondering why the weeds keep growing back. We wonder why change is so difficult, but it’s not that change is difficult, it’s that we’ve been going about it the wrong way. Trying to shovel the snow of your driveway with a rake isn’t going to work very well, so why not trying something else? To change emotions and behaviours we need to step behind the scenes and peek into our internal experience to see what is going on behind our emotions and behaviours. We need to look beyond the surface and find the source.
Emotions and behaviours don’t come out of nowhere. They result naturally from our internal programming. For whatever emotions you feel and whatever behaviours you produce, your programming must be perfectly optimized to produce that result. If you are depressed, your mind has been programmed to produce depression. If anxiety is your constant companion, your mind has been programmed to produce anxiety. If you find yourself lacking confidence, or giving into to self-sabotage, it’s because your mental software permits it. And if you live a life of joy and success, it’s because your internal programming has been optimized to generate that result.
Problems are learned, and if they can be learned, they can be unlearned. Change your programming and you change the result.
Although you never go anywhere without your mind, most of what goes on in the mind remains a mystery to you. Why? Because much of what occurs in your mind is out of awareness. Our mental programs operate behind the scenes, out of consciousness, and it is those aspects of our functioning that operate out of awareness that lead to emotions and behaviours. To put on a great show and produce the results we need to navigate in the world, there is a whole crew of things going on backstage. All we see is the final performance.
If you open the task manager on a computer you can see all of the applications running. When you look at this list you see precisely the programs that you know are operating. In your mind, these would correspond to the things you are aware of at any given moment. However, click on the list of processes and you get a whole array of programs running behind the scenes. There are far more in this list than in the list of applications running and when you look at this list of processes, you can’t even identify what most of them are. They are operating in the background, out of awareness, permitting you to think, feel, act and react to your experience of life.
In order to reprogram our minds and upgrade our mental software to produce superior results, we must begin by bringing those hidden programs to the surface. Once we know what is operating in the mind we can run some antivirus software, uninstall outdated programs and upgrade where possible. Most of us race to have the latest cell phone and the newest gadget, but why do we keep running obsolete mental software?
Don’t worry, when you begin to explore your mind you won’t find inner demons waiting to be freed or terrible things wanting to bubble up as Freud would have you believe. You will, however, very likely find some old programs that you may no longer want. Remember, they are just programs and if you installed them, you can uninstall them.
I'd love to read your comments below…
David Kynan
So just what is the mind? If we are going to get any use out of the mind, we need a definition that is useful. Although the word “mind” leads us to believe the mind is a thing, it is not. The mind is label we have given to an active and dynamic process of thinking, perceiving and experiencing. The term “mind” refers to a never-ending flow of information processing. The mind is never static. It is a constant stream of sensory input, thoughts, ideas and perceptions. It’s a continuous dance of information, a ceaseless stream of awareness in which almost anything can be swept up.
What exactly goes on in this stream of awareness? From moment to moment you receive vast amounts of information from the outside world through your senses. Your awareness jumps from point to point in your external experience, sorting for what is important to you as your minds engages in the process of interpreting and evaluating the incoming data. External information is filtered through beliefs, attitudes and memories and associations are activated. Emotions arise and generate responses; speech, actions and behaviour.
On the screen of your mind you flash images, snapshots and run movies. You hear sounds and voices and often narrate the film with your own voice. The pictures and sounds of your mind occur all in sequence, one after the other, which results in an ever changing flux of experience which changes from moment to moment.
Directing and guiding this stream of awareness is a system. We can think of the mind as system that directs our information processing. This system is made up of numerous elements, all interacting and influencing one another to generate our experience. The way we experience the world is through the process of representing, sequencing and ordering the information we acquire from the outside world.
The system of information processing we call “the mind” can also be called our internal reality. We each have an external reality- the environment we live in, the circumstances of our lives – and we each have our own unique internal reality. It is this internal reality that lies behind emotions, behaviour and results.
Our inner reality is far from a random mess of mental chaos. Human subjective experience has a structure. Knowing the specific elements that make up the structure of our internal reality enables us to alter the structure so that it serves us better.
For thousands of years we have believed that the mind was complicated and elusive; a mystery waiting to be unravelled, a cipher waiting to be cracked. We now know that the mind is much simpler than we once thought. When we know the building blocks of human subjective experience, the elements that make up what we call “mind,” we can change them.
The components of a system can be reorganized. The processes we use to encode information and the sequence data can be optimized to produce desired results. When we know the elements of a system we can change the system so it functions more effectively and efficiently. When we know what is going on behind the scenes of behaviour and emotion, we can change it and transform our experience.
For hundreds of years the field of psychology tried to find a way to change emotions and behaviour. The methods devised made great theories, but never really resulted in much change. Some of the theories made a lot of sense, but practice didn’t seem to yield any results. The advocates of different psychological theories over the past hundred years spent more time arguing over theories than trying to find something that really worked. It took up until the late 1970s before a model that was actually useful and practical was devised.
Throughout our lives we have fought with our emotions and struggled to change habits and behaviours with little or no success. We have been attempting to change the symptom of some cause without getting to the source. Trying to change with willpower alone is like trying to weed a garden without getting at the roots and wondering why the weeds keep growing back. We wonder why change is so difficult, but it’s not that change is difficult, it’s that we’ve been going about it the wrong way. Trying to shovel the snow of your driveway with a rake isn’t going to work very well, so why not trying something else? To change emotions and behaviours we need to step behind the scenes and peek into our internal experience to see what is going on behind our emotions and behaviours. We need to look beyond the surface and find the source.
Emotions and behaviours don’t come out of nowhere. They result naturally from our internal programming. For whatever emotions you feel and whatever behaviours you produce, your programming must be perfectly optimized to produce that result. If you are depressed, your mind has been programmed to produce depression. If anxiety is your constant companion, your mind has been programmed to produce anxiety. If you find yourself lacking confidence, or giving into to self-sabotage, it’s because your mental software permits it. And if you live a life of joy and success, it’s because your internal programming has been optimized to generate that result.
Problems are learned, and if they can be learned, they can be unlearned. Change your programming and you change the result.
Although you never go anywhere without your mind, most of what goes on in the mind remains a mystery to you. Why? Because much of what occurs in your mind is out of awareness. Our mental programs operate behind the scenes, out of consciousness, and it is those aspects of our functioning that operate out of awareness that lead to emotions and behaviours. To put on a great show and produce the results we need to navigate in the world, there is a whole crew of things going on backstage. All we see is the final performance.
If you open the task manager on a computer you can see all of the applications running. When you look at this list you see precisely the programs that you know are operating. In your mind, these would correspond to the things you are aware of at any given moment. However, click on the list of processes and you get a whole array of programs running behind the scenes. There are far more in this list than in the list of applications running and when you look at this list of processes, you can’t even identify what most of them are. They are operating in the background, out of awareness, permitting you to think, feel, act and react to your experience of life.
In order to reprogram our minds and upgrade our mental software to produce superior results, we must begin by bringing those hidden programs to the surface. Once we know what is operating in the mind we can run some antivirus software, uninstall outdated programs and upgrade where possible. Most of us race to have the latest cell phone and the newest gadget, but why do we keep running obsolete mental software?
Don’t worry, when you begin to explore your mind you won’t find inner demons waiting to be freed or terrible things wanting to bubble up as Freud would have you believe. You will, however, very likely find some old programs that you may no longer want. Remember, they are just programs and if you installed them, you can uninstall them.
I'd love to read your comments below…
David Kynan
Monday, November 2, 2009
The Lies of Psychology
I am on a mission.
I want to prove that what we think we know about the mind, behaviour and change is wrong. I want to prove that our most common problems can be resolved in record time. I want to prove that we can achieve more than we thought possible, live happier more productive lives and push the boundaries of what is possible.
My vision is to help create a world to which people want to belong, in which people are living their highest visions, accomplishing what they want and contributing at the highest level.
What would it be like to live in a world where people were free, empowered, living lives of meaning and purpose… living the lives they want and giving back.
My mission is to help create a self-actualizing by self-actualizing individuals.
It might sound like a pretty lofty vision, but it can be done, and here’s how:
You wouldn’t use a telegraph to send a message – You’d pick up a phone or send an email. We jump to have the latest technology, but when it comes to the mind and change, society clings to outdated methods.
Most talk therapy, counselling and psychology is all about talking. Talk, talk, talk about a problem as if by talking it will go away. If your car stops working, do you talk about it for a hundred dollars an hour… or do you do something about it? The answer is clear.
Change is easy. The question is, How do we keep ourselves from changing?
As humans we have the capacity to change. We have the capacity to change, to free ourselves of what holds us back and to achieve the most incredible things. Look through human history at the countless things people have achieved… things that defy all odds. If you think we cannot change quickly and accomplish incredible things, you’re not seeing reality.
Not only do I know this because I help people prove to themselves everyday that change is possible in minutes… but I know from personal experience.
My nickname in high-school was prince of darkness. Yes. Prince of darkness. I was depressed and in despair for most of my life. I lived in a dark world – I was a master of unhappiness, a master of limited perception and self-sabotage. I was stuck, I was desperate and I began a quest. I began a quest to find the keys to change.
If you have met me, heard me speak or watched my videos, it’s clear that I am no longer a prince of darkness. I didn’t reinvent myself by talking. I tried EVERYTHING, read EVERYTHING, studied EVERYTHING. And guess what I found: Most of everything in psychology and change all theory… but theory doesn’t create change.
We can crush the obstacles that hold us back with ease and speed when we stop looking for why we have problems and when we stop digging into the past. When we understand how a problem works, how you maintain it and sustain it and focus on how you can change, change becomes possible.
If we value science, then we have to listen to what science discovers.
The most recent developments in psychology, linguistics, cognitive science and neuroscience have led to methods and systems such as NLP, Neurosemantics and Meta-Coaching that make the impossible possible. The latest findings from the field of neuroscience proves that the brain is actually plastic, able to rewire itself with each experience that we have.
In his book, The Brain That Changes Itself, Norman Doidge, MD, calls Neuroplasticity "one of the most extraordinary discoveries of the twentieth century."
Why don’t people know about these advances and the methods that put them into practice? Why don’t therapists and psychologists use them? The reason is that most people have bought into the idea that change is hard and painful. We are victims of social conditioning and it’s tough to break free. We have been hypnotized by our culture to believe something that each of us knows inside simply isn’t true.
Have we been told a lie?
We have been led to live a lie. We have been told and taught that if we have a problem we need medication because in this world a pill is the solution to everything. We are told to be realistic and that problems are because of chemical imabalance or genetics and we buy into it. We argue that we are the way we are because of our parents or our experiences or our genes or the weather. But it's a lie... only true as long as you believe it.
Almost everyone has that inkling inside, that deep knowing that they are capable of more, that they have potential waiting to be unleashed, that they can do more, be more, have more… but they don’t know how to unleash it – then we wonder why we aren’t living at a higher level.
It’s time to put the past behind us and embrace a brighter future.
Abraham Maslow advocated that our most natural drive as humans is to self-actualize. We believe the same, and our mission is to show people how to do it.
by David Kynan
I'd love to read your comments below…
I want to prove that what we think we know about the mind, behaviour and change is wrong. I want to prove that our most common problems can be resolved in record time. I want to prove that we can achieve more than we thought possible, live happier more productive lives and push the boundaries of what is possible.
My vision is to help create a world to which people want to belong, in which people are living their highest visions, accomplishing what they want and contributing at the highest level.
What would it be like to live in a world where people were free, empowered, living lives of meaning and purpose… living the lives they want and giving back.
My mission is to help create a self-actualizing by self-actualizing individuals.
It might sound like a pretty lofty vision, but it can be done, and here’s how:
You wouldn’t use a telegraph to send a message – You’d pick up a phone or send an email. We jump to have the latest technology, but when it comes to the mind and change, society clings to outdated methods.
Most talk therapy, counselling and psychology is all about talking. Talk, talk, talk about a problem as if by talking it will go away. If your car stops working, do you talk about it for a hundred dollars an hour… or do you do something about it? The answer is clear.
Change is easy. The question is, How do we keep ourselves from changing?
As humans we have the capacity to change. We have the capacity to change, to free ourselves of what holds us back and to achieve the most incredible things. Look through human history at the countless things people have achieved… things that defy all odds. If you think we cannot change quickly and accomplish incredible things, you’re not seeing reality.
Not only do I know this because I help people prove to themselves everyday that change is possible in minutes… but I know from personal experience.
My nickname in high-school was prince of darkness. Yes. Prince of darkness. I was depressed and in despair for most of my life. I lived in a dark world – I was a master of unhappiness, a master of limited perception and self-sabotage. I was stuck, I was desperate and I began a quest. I began a quest to find the keys to change.
If you have met me, heard me speak or watched my videos, it’s clear that I am no longer a prince of darkness. I didn’t reinvent myself by talking. I tried EVERYTHING, read EVERYTHING, studied EVERYTHING. And guess what I found: Most of everything in psychology and change all theory… but theory doesn’t create change.
We can crush the obstacles that hold us back with ease and speed when we stop looking for why we have problems and when we stop digging into the past. When we understand how a problem works, how you maintain it and sustain it and focus on how you can change, change becomes possible.
If we value science, then we have to listen to what science discovers.
The most recent developments in psychology, linguistics, cognitive science and neuroscience have led to methods and systems such as NLP, Neurosemantics and Meta-Coaching that make the impossible possible. The latest findings from the field of neuroscience proves that the brain is actually plastic, able to rewire itself with each experience that we have.
In his book, The Brain That Changes Itself, Norman Doidge, MD, calls Neuroplasticity "one of the most extraordinary discoveries of the twentieth century."
Why don’t people know about these advances and the methods that put them into practice? Why don’t therapists and psychologists use them? The reason is that most people have bought into the idea that change is hard and painful. We are victims of social conditioning and it’s tough to break free. We have been hypnotized by our culture to believe something that each of us knows inside simply isn’t true.
Have we been told a lie?
We have been led to live a lie. We have been told and taught that if we have a problem we need medication because in this world a pill is the solution to everything. We are told to be realistic and that problems are because of chemical imabalance or genetics and we buy into it. We argue that we are the way we are because of our parents or our experiences or our genes or the weather. But it's a lie... only true as long as you believe it.
Almost everyone has that inkling inside, that deep knowing that they are capable of more, that they have potential waiting to be unleashed, that they can do more, be more, have more… but they don’t know how to unleash it – then we wonder why we aren’t living at a higher level.
It’s time to put the past behind us and embrace a brighter future.
Abraham Maslow advocated that our most natural drive as humans is to self-actualize. We believe the same, and our mission is to show people how to do it.
by David Kynan
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