Have you ever had one of those days that you just feel really bad about yourself? I’m sure everybody has some bad days like this throughout their lives, even the most successful and exceptional people. It is just part of life, although some people seem to have many more days feeling like this than others do.
This sort of person that will often experience negative feelings like guilt, shame, embarrassment or self hate are known as having ‘low self esteem’. These people will often make themselves worse by constantly criticizing themselves with self talk like ‘why do I always feel like this’ or ‘why me’. These critical comments will make the person feel even worse and they tend to get caught in a loop of feeling bad and then reinforcing those feelings and making themselves feel even worse.
If you are circling in a negative loop like this you will no doubt find yourself lacking in energy which makes it even harder to snap out of it and raise your self esteem. It is vital that you take control of your mind and know how your mind works to be able to break the cycle and improve your self esteem.
Thought patterns are directionalised. In other words, if you are having continuous thoughts of ‘I am hopeless and I will never achieve anything’ then that is what your mind feels and it becomes your self-fulfilling prophecy. You are setting your brain up to go in that direction. It is listening to your thoughts and is carrying them out, so when you think repeatedly negative thoughts your brain will follow those thoughts and your reality will be negative just as your thoughts are.
So to improve your life and your self esteem you need to adopt a whole new way of thinking that will lead you in an empowering direction. A technique for this is known as disassociation and its effects are quite fast.
Try to think of a situation where you would like to have higher self esteem and like you are having feelings about the feelings and then this will free up your inner resources so that you are able to gain new self esteeming perspectives.
Now while you are watching that movie with you in it as yourself “If I were to learn something valuable about this situation what would it be?” You can also ask yourself “If I pretend there is a positive intention behind my feelings or behaviour what would that be?” Try not to think too hard about your answer if you can’t think of an answer straight away just have a guess. The main point of the exercise is to lead your mind in a more positive direction. Do you notice any more positive feelings?
You can use this exercise and run through some other situations where you wished you had used more positive self esteem and begin to become aware of just how much you can raise your self esteem through a little bit of effort.
Part two of this raising self esteem article will discuss a very powerful NLP Life Coaching technique that is a fast and very effective method of creating change in your life.
Mark J Holland is a professional NLP Life Coach who teaches NLP Life Coaching tools and techniques for practical use in solo-business and personal life. For more information about NLP Life Coaching visit http://www.nlpmindcoach.com. Interested in On-Line NLP Practitioner Certification Training.
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